Almost Christmas

So it is almost Christmas and to me it feels as though it could be any other time of year. You know all those movies where the main story involves a couple trying to avoid Christmas? Well I feel the exact opposite. I want to enjoy Christmas, but I just can't seem to find it anywhere. Maybe that's because I've been traveling from place to place these past few weeks, I don't know. It's kind of depressing in many ways because I do enjoy Christmas so much.

This year in many ways I have been frustrated about what Christmas has come to mean. I think that we have become way too materialistic. But while I feel that way and I think that, I have found myself caught up in the hustle and bustle of buying gifts too. Not showing up empty handed, as though there is a standard that I need to keep. Where is the balance and how do I find it? I have an alternate gift idea for friends and family, but yet I don't think it's enough. Why is that? Why can't we simply give each other the gift of love and companionship and let that be enough?

~Sigh~

Well I figure that I still have some time for it to really feel like Christmas. It could be that tomorrow night during the Christmas eve service when I'm surrounded by friends and family and celebrating the birth of Christ that the meaning of the season will kick in, but it's hard to say.

Cat's Out of the Bag

So I've been planning for more than a month now to come out to Colorado to surprise one of my best friends. And here I sit in her apartment after arriving yesterday afternoon. Needless to say, she had no idea that I was coming! That's one nice thing about her parents living close by. They were able to pick me up and deliver me very easily and I was very thankful for that!

It's hard for me to believe that I'm really out here in Colorado, one of my favorite places, hanging out with one of my most favorite people in the world.

I always love the time I get to spend with Elizabeth. I forget when we're not together just how similar we are. We're both incredibly graceful (hahaha). We both love to be outdoors. We both love to travel and see new places. We both have no idea what we want to do with our lives but we know that we want what we do to make a difference. We can be ourselves around each other and talk about anything and everything and know that whatever we say, whatever we do, it will be okay. We're pretty lucky to have found each other way back when right after we both graduated high school and ended up at the same workcamp in Puerto Rico. I just don't know what I'd do without her!

Blowin' in the Wind

For some reason this song has really struck a chord with me lately. So I thought I'd share!


"Blowin' In The Wind" (Bob Dylan)

How many roads must a man walk down
Before you call him a man?
Yes, 'n' how many seas must a white dove sail
Before she sleeps in the sand?
Yes, 'n' how many times must the cannon balls fly
Before they're forever banned?

The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,
The answer is blowin' in the wind.

How many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky?
Yes, 'n' how many ears must one man have
Before he can hear people cry?
Yes, 'n' how many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many people have died?

The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,
The answer is blowin' in the wind.

How many years can a mountain exist
Before it's washed to the sea?
Yes, 'n' how many years can some people exist
Before they're allowed to be free?
Yes, 'n' how many times can a man turn his head,
Pretending he just doesn't see?

The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,
The answer is blowin' in the wind.

Copyright ©1962; renewed 1990 Special Rider Music

Snow

I love that when the weather here calls for snow that it does actually snow! Not like Virginia where they call for snow, and then school gets canceled because they think it's gonna be a big one and then it ends up being 60 degrees outside!

It's lovely when it's falling. As it glistens in the light. The way the wind makes it swirl to the ground. Wavy snowdrifts piling up all over the place in intricate patterns.

Pure white snow before it has been walked on or plowed is one of my favorite things. I don't consider there to be enough snow until the tips of the grasses are covered, which around here can take awhile because of all the longer grasses that grow.

I'm such a dork I know. But what can I say, I love the snow. I love to watch it fall. I love the silence it brings. Most of the people around here groan and say that I can have it all, that they don't want any of it! But I think it is absolutely beautiful.

I know that snow causes lots of problems, accidents on the roadways, extremely cold weather, but what can I say I'm an optimist when it comes to things such as snow. I'd rather focus on the pleasantries rather than some of the not so nice aspects.

It's a lesson that goes way beyond snow, but still, what else can I say other than I love snow!

Likes

One of my good friends takes time most everyday to write down the good parts of the day. I think it's a great thing to do. Helps me to find the good things in life, both large and small, so I think I might do this from time to time...hope she doesn't mind! :)

Things I like:

riding the train, creating ice skating routines with my little cousins, baking Christmas cookies, waking up with a cat sleeping at my feet, SNOW!, the blooming rose bush in my office, curling up in a giant arm chair with a blanket and a good book, making Amish Friendship Bread, eating grilled cheese sandwiches grilled to perfection,

Me Time

So those of you who see me everyday are more aware of this than those of you who are farther away. I haven't been myself lately. I don't know if I can pin-point why that is, or when it happened, but it has become very evident that something hasn't quite right these past few days. So I've been taking lots of me time to start making it better. It was pointed out to me by several people I'm very close with that I haven't really slowed down since June. These past few weeks I haven't had any trips to prepare for or go on, so I've had more time to just 'be.' And while that has been great my thoughts have had the time to catch up with me. Needless to say there is a lot going on in my head these days!

I was able to take a couple days off from work so that I could do nothing. I had no idea what to do with myself. So I did laundry. The monotonous job can really do wonders sometimes! Laundry and dishes are really soothing to me these days. During those two days and the monotonous work I was able to do a lot of thinking things through which was really good for me.

I am doing better now and at least from my perspective I think I'm becoming the normal 'me' again, whoever that might be. I'm able to laugh with my friends and have a good time. I haven't been able to do that for awhile. Now it seems I can't stop! The other night we were all invited to dinner at a friend's house and Beth, Meghan and I played Dutch Blitz...well, kind of. We started out playing the actual card game and then before long a new game emerged. The rules of the new version were simple: throw all the cards at one another and see what happens! We were all laughing so hard and we couldn't stop! It was amazing. We all laughed the deep belly laugh that doesn't always come out.

My strange mood could be partly due to many things. The colder weather settling in all around us, the time change making it dark by the time we get home, the upcoming holiday season and wishing it was here now. Who knows. But I do know that I am doing better. And that makes me happy. This most recent change gives me something to hold on to.

Here's something I wrote several years ago. I think it's quite fitting for this stage of my life too.

"Even through the darkness there is light around the corner just waiting to be seen...it's just a matter of finding it and feeling it's warm glow upon your heart."

I'm getting closer to that light. I'm feeling warmer every day. It's a wonderful feeling. But at the same time I won't forget what I've gone through because I need to process it and learn from it. And that's what I intend to do.

The Red Tree

The Red Tree by Shaun Tan

sometimes the day begins
with nothing to look forward to

and things go from bad to worse

darkness overcomes you

nobody understands

the world is a deaf machine

without sense or reason

sometimes you wait

and wait

and wait

and wait

and wait

and wait

and wait

but nothing ever happens

then all your troubles come at once

wonderful things are passing you by

terrible fates are inevitable

sometimes you just don't know what you are supposed to do

or

who you are meant to be

or

where you are

and the day seems to end the way it began

but suddenly there it is right in front of you

bright and vivid

quietly waiting

just as you imagined it would be


This children's book was handed to me this morning by one of the girls in my office. When I oppened it I had no idea what the story line would be. I found that the story resonated with me more than I thought possible.

I'm looking for my 'red tree.'

A Good Tired

I'm tired. But it's a good tired.

Today I got up early to brave the cold and the wind and collect seeds for a local preserve who is working to replant prairie around here. Here is what I experienced in a nut shell.

Prairie grasses do block the wind to a degree, but the grasses also get in your face, poke your eyes and go up your nose.

Mountain Mint, Nodding Wild Onion, and Drop Seed are all plants that are native to a prairie ecosystem and they all have really tiny seeds.

When in the prairie it is possible to see lots of deer and pick out a flock of cranes flying overhead.

It is possible to lose yourself in the middle of a sea of golden grass that is taller than your head.

I'm really good at focusing on finding one plant species...until I'm not. My short attention span gets in the way! And when you're out in the prairie there are dozens of plants surrounding you all the time and it's easy to lose focus! And then my mind starts to wander and then I forget what I'm doing and then I remember and have to retrain my eyes for the one kind of plant I'm looking for.

Being in the middle of a prairie only 30 minutes from Chicago is totally possible. And with the exception of the traffic pollution, you think that you're in the middle of no where. It's amazing.

Looking up and realizing you can't see anyone in your work group anymore is a semi nerve wracking event.

Spending a day with my Frisbee friends outside of actually playing Frisbee is a wonderful thing and I hope to keep it up!

Going out into a large field, getting outside, enjoying a brisk fall/winter morning, becoming one with nature, collecting seeds that will go to restart another prairie, is an awesome thing.

I Need a Hobby

I have decided that I need a hobby.

Now-a-days it is getting dark really early and it will soon be consistently cold and snowy and gray outside most days. A typical day for me is to come to work until 4:30 and then head to the Y before having dinner with the girls. It's a great routine until I get to the after dinner hours. I have found that I have nothing constructive to do. I'll just go and sit at my computer in the hopes that someone will have e-mailed me or started chatting with me online. I don't like this b/c I spend my days at work sitting in front of a computer and I want to get away from it in the evenings. This is hard to do when there isn't anything else to do!

So I have decided that I need a hobby. Something to do that is somewhat constructive, but at the same times allows me to escape into myself and just be.

So yes, I need a hobby (or two). Any suggestions?

Food for Thought

So I just got back from a youth retreat with several of the youth from Highland Avenue and I have a few random thoughts I'd like to share; some things I've been thinking about!

First, it was really cool for me to spend the weekend with Laura, Nate and Carson, three youth from HACoB. It was one of the first times that I've been able to have one on one time with them and it was really great! Great for all of us I think!

On the first night we were asked to come up with a three word biography for ourselves. Here's mine: Relationships, Service, Questioning

So you know how everyone says that it's always better to give rather than receive? Well what happens if you give and give and give and you get nothing in return? I'm all for giving of myself, but if you're always giving it's really quite exhausting. It's just an interesting concept, that I agree with, but at the same time struggle with.

Andy and Terry Murray gave a concert this weekend and their songs always speak to me. I didn't grow up listening to their music, but now that I do, it's a great thing. Some of my favorites are Goodbye Still Night, Brave Man from Ohio, and One Person at a Time. Each of these songs give me hope while also helping to ask the tough questions of what I think and believe.

Goodbye Still Night:
"Power to live. Courage to fly. Goodbye still night. We're watching the sun come up from the mountain. Standing stright up to life. Lookin it in the eye. Stretchin our arms out. Shakin hands with the sky. Filling up our cup at the crystal fountain."

Brave Man from Ohio:
"Of how he dreamed of a peaceful world, where life would be sweet and good. Oh, I'm not afraid to be here friends, I'm not afraid to die. I just can't shake this feeling inside we can live together if we try. Give me a shovel instead of a gun, lend me a hand for now. And if we die we'll die makin somethin' instead of tearin somethin down."

One Person at a Time:
"Oh the world's so big and I'm so small. It hardly seems I matter at all. Sometimes I think I'd like to do something to help out with all the problems of the world but whenever I sit down and think it through I always wonder what can one person do? "

One final thing. I think about the idea of memories all the time. Sometimes, I want to be able to write everything down and record it so that it is preserved forever. Then other times I realize that our mind works in such a way that it already is preserved. I love the fact that I'll be talking to someone, or listening to them, and through that conversation a memory will come to the front of my mind which then leads to many other memories. For example, on Friday as we were driving to Peoria to the youth retreat Laura was trying so hard to remember a camp song. Once she did I realized that I knew it and we started to sing it together. As a result of that, I began to think back to my summer at Camp Swatara where I had learned that song. And then I began to think about the people I worked with and the awesome summer that I had. A specific memory came to mind, one where all of the summer staff was walking to family camp for church one Sunday morning at the beginning of the summer and we sang this song. The only thing was at that time I didn't even know the song really well to be able to join in. But I was able to enjoy the rest of the group singing. I really enjoy it when I think of things I hadn't thought of in awhile (especially when it's a good thing!). It's fun to take a walk down memory lane as they say.

A Bit of Jazz

So for the first time in my life I think, I've actually wanted to listen to jazz music! It's funny for me to say that because I've been listening to jazz for years. My brother, Leroy, is a musician (and a pretty good one at that!) and growing up I always had to go to his jazz concerts. Now granted they have gotten much better and much more enjoyable over the years, it's just that jazz wasn't my thing.

So last night I was sitting in my room listening to music on my computer and a song by Thelonius Monk came on. Without realizing it I begain moving my head along with the beat and tapping my toes on the floor. Eventually I stopped what I was doing because it became apparent that I was in the mood for some jazz! So I took a second to make it so that my computer would only play jazz music.

Then this morning while I was getting ready for work I turned the jazz music on again! And now I'm rocking out to it here at work! I guess it's a jazz kind of day!

Hello November!

Happy November! Here in Elgin we brought in the new month with a house full of friends and family! One of the BVS House traditions is to have a Halloween Party and invite people from the offices and from church and so we threw in a handful of our friends to that bunch! For our party we had a music theme and all of us girls picked different music genres to dress up as. I represented 'classical music' so I was a maestro for the evening. I wore a black dress suit complete with a bow tie and a conductors baton. My hair was done up in a crazy up-do for the night, which let me tell you was a painful process! I hardly ever do anything with my hair...it's either up, or it's down.

Other music genres represented were jazz, musicals, punk rock, rap, and disco. We asked our guests to come dressed as something musical and they sure did step up to the challenge! One of our friends came dressed as a microphone! It was amazing! It was a fun night of laughter, LOTS of food and tons of fun to say the least!

We had four friends who came into town for the weekend, mostly for the party, but also just to come and visit! On Saturday most of the housemates went into Chicago to see the musical Wicked (which was fitting because two of them dressed up as characters from Wicked for Halloween!) and had a great outing to the city. I on the other hand chose to stay at home and relax with my friend Amber and we had a fun day of our own watching movies, playing Frisbee and babysitting. Well, I guess maybe it wasn't relaxing, but it sure was fun!

As the weekend went on, it became more apparent to me just how tired I was. I worked to find a few minutes here and there to go down to my room and to just sit and 'be,' which was a good thing for me to do. To put it plain and simple: I was peopled out. It's hard work traveling from place to place and always putting on a happy face and being social all the time. Even in the homes that I was put up in while traveling, that takes work too! And then to come back to a house full of people to entertain, as happy as I was that they were all there, it was still exhausting! But I wouldn't trade it for the world!

After all the traveling I've done these past two months it is really nice to be back in the office for longer than a few days. This is my first full week in the BVS office since I started here back in September! How crazy is that!? It is also a bit overwhelming since I'm not used to being in the office...I'm not quite sure what to do with myself!

I realized something interesting this morning. I went over to talk to Dana as I do most days (yes, believe it or not, we do get work done) and she was working on a worship service and was a bit stuck on what to do with it. So I asked her what she had so far and as she was telling me my mind started to fill with ideas that she might be able to use. My realization is that I really enjoy doing that kind of creative thinking. But then again I also just love working with Dana! We both think in different ways, but it's great because together we can come up with some pretty great stuff!

Something I've been thinking about a lot lately is how I really would like to get in touch again with my degree in Environmental Science. And wouldn't you know an opportunity has come my way! I met this guy, Ryan, while playing Frisbee here and he works for the Audubon Society. Typically I don't see my Frisbee friends outside of our weekly disc times but yesterday Ryan was here in the offices because he is going to give ideas and suggestions to our grounds manager about bringing in some native vegetation on our property. So Ryan and I got to talking a bit and he was telling me about some up coming opportunities to help re-seed some areas around here to go back to the natural prairie habitat that used to cover this area entirely. So I think I'm gonna try to do some of that volunteer work on Saturdays when I'm able to and I'm really excited about that!

Good Day

It's been a good day for me.

I haven't been able to say that for awhile to say the least!

Today, I got up crazy early (4:16am to be exact) and left Elgin, IL for McPherson, KS.  The getting up early was not necessarily the good part.  The good part was that I was able to sleep the entire first flight from Midway to Atlanta and then doze from Atlanta to Wichita.  

Oh and while I was at the airport I spent some time browsing through books which I love to do so that made me quite happy.  Another part of the good day.

Then, when I landed in Wichita I had no idea who was going to be picking me up, but it was Jan Hurst whom I have known for several years now since my time in Westminster, MD, and we had a fabulous lunch at a Chinese restaurant complete with great conversation.  Another excellent part of the good day.

We made it to McPherson without a problem and I was able to set up my display and the simplicity of the design and the new look I gave my temporary display made me really happy. It is inviting and open for people to come to if they choose.  It's different from the other displays we've been using in the past.  Somewhat simpler.  I like it.  And it added to my good day!

And THEN tonight I had several great phone conversations tonight with several good friends and my dad!  I was able to talk to one of my best friends, Annie, whose wedding I was just in to see how she's doing now that she's Mrs. Smith to the world.  And then since I was wandering around the McPherson College campus and stumbled on a mens soccer game I decided to call my dad and I was on the phone with him for 10 minutes!  That's like a record!  (Love you Daddy!)  And then after that I called my good friend Amber and we chatted for awhile talking about plans for this upcoming weekend which was fun.  Then I briefly talked with a friend from college, Chase, who I had lost touch with for awhile, so it's really great that we're reconnecting again!  All of these conversations put me in a great mood!  So good!

And tonight I look some time with Jan to look over some of my favorite artsy pictures that I've taken over the past few years.  Not only am I proud of some of them, but they bring back many great memories!  More goodness!

I just hope that I didn't use all my goodness in one day.  But it is noted in the record books that today was a good day.

That is all.

Something New

So I have started trying something new to help me to relax and calm down a bit. The past three mornings while I've been getting ready I've been listening to songs and prayers from the Taize Community. I was looking through the music on my iPod and I had forgotten that those chants and songs were there. I learned about Taize last year after attending several Taize based worship services here at the office so it is a relatively new type of prayer to me.

For those of you who may not be familiar with Taize:
"Singing is one of the most essential elements of worship. Short songs, repeated again and again, give it a meditative character. Using just a few words they express a basic reality of faith, quickly grasped by the mind. As the words are sung over many times, this reality gradually penetrates the whole being. Meditative singing thus becomes a way of listening to God. It allows everyone to take part in a time of prayer together and to remain together in attentive waiting on God, without having to fix the length of time too exactly." (www.taize.fr)

This meditative aspect is what resonates with me. Singing the same words over and over again helps to clear my mind and refreshes me. Often times the words are in a different language and typically songs are sung in a canon.

So yeah, I think this is the start of something good for me. There is a lot going on in my life these days so it's nice to have something that helps to relax and soothe me at the beginning of the day. We'll see how it goes!

Forward Motion

Here I am for one of the first times in awhile sitting at home on a Saturday, just having gotten back from playing Ultimate Frisbee and wasting time before going to a dinner at church and I'm exhausted. I have no energy to be doing anything other than sitting. I don't really want to talk to anyone. When people ask me questions, I can't bring myself to answer them. I need a time to rest and rejuvenate myself and I'm not quite sure when that is going to happen. My life is always going in a forward motion and I just don't know how to make it slow down if not stop entirely.

There's never enough time to do everything that I find myself wanting to do and yet on the other hand there's never time to just stop everything. There's always a football game to try to get to or a soccer game to try to support my youth. There's church related events to go to and church itself. There is everything at work that keeps me on my toes traveling from one place to the next. There's trying to hang out with people who I haven't had time to see in months or really spend some quality time with such as my adopted family from church, or co-workers, or friends in general. There just isn't time for it all.

And it's not even as though I'm trying to make time for it all, it's just I'm really exhausted right now and while the end is in sight it isn't here yet. You'd think that I'd be able to enjoy my weekend, but instead it's been filled up with all sorts of things. Which, truth be told is probably my own fault. I'm known for packing every little thing possible into a day or into a trip as possible. I think I need to take some lessons on just being instead of trying to fit everything in possible...any suggestions?

As a random side note I have found myself cleaning my life up a little bit. Not in any serious ways really, but trying to clean up the clutter that is my life these days. You know, thinking to myself 'well I don't really need that anymore' and so I decide to get rid of it if it's possible!

October

I'm sitting in my office in Elgin wondering where the time has gone and what it is that I've been doing this month! I find it hard to believe that it we are getting close to the end of yet another month. I have found myself all over the country since October began, traveling for work and for fun. This latest trip had me back in the Valley for a week followed by a few days in Boston.

Let me tell you, it was so great to be back in the Valley at home for a few days. I am really enjoying my time out here in Elgin (and everywhere else I end up!), but when I get to go home it makes me extremely happy! And to be there for the first time in three years during the fall was a real treat. A good friend of mine, Jerry, came down to visit for a few days and we were able to enjoy the beautiful weather and head up into the Skyline Drive and go hiking and enjoy the scenery for an afternoon.

The week was also spent helping one of my best friends, Annie, get ready for her wedding! It was an aboslutely beautiful day, perfect for a fall wedding. The church where the wedding was is out in the country set atop a hill with mountains in the backdrop. There were so many rich and beautiful colors, reds and oranges, in the trees and flowers. The sky was a beautiful blue with white puffy clouds. Absolutely georgous. The perfect day for a wedding.

From there I went to Boston for a Volunteers Exploring Vocation event where about 45 former volunteers were brought in to spend three days together listening to professors speak about their calling and how they life their lives. We also were led in sessions by John Bell from the Iona Community in Scotland. It was a whirlwind of a trip that has led to even more questioning than I already had. But I will say that while I am questioning my faith and what my life will bring I have come to a point where I need to 'be' for awhile and work to live my life as it is. Many of the former volunteers left our time in Boston energized with a new sense of hope. I left Boston exhausted; emotionally, physically, and mentally.

I'm beginning to think more and more about the possibility of doing a different form of service at some point. One where I will be interacting with people and creating relationships and doing a more of a hands on service than what I'm doing now. Who knows what my future might bring my way!

Sannu!

Okay, so I'm gonna try this again. I don't think that I'm cut out for blogging! I keep forgetting to write on this thing and when I do remember I don't have the time or energy! So here's the latest from my end...

At the beginning of the month I started my second year of service doing recruitment work for BVS and while I have no idea what I'm doing, it's going well! :)

I was in the office for a little more than a week before leaving for my first recruitment trip and now I find myself on the tail end of a two week trek. I started out by driving about 15 hours or so with Beth and Callie (two of my co-workers on the BVS team) going from Elgin, IL to New Windsor, MD in one day. Needless to say once we got to New Windsor we all slept quite well! The next day I was able to head up to Lancaster, PA to visit with my good friend Stefan before he flew back to Germany the next day. I was so thankful for that visit because I really wasn't sure if I was going to get to see him before he left! The weekend was spent visiting with two youth groups in PA, one in York and the other in Harleysville and talking with them about BVS. It was so great to reconnect with these youth because they were some of my workcampers this past summer and I love them all dearly!

From there I went to Juniata College in Huntington, PA for a few days to promote BVS and meet with students who are interested in serving at some point or another. As far as I understand it most of my traveling will be to colleges to try to recruit people who are interested in BVS. It was so great to be at Juniata, one because I'd never been there and several of my good friends went there and two, because I got to hang out with two good friends of mine while I was there.

Then it was time to head back down to New Windsor for our 60th anniversary for the Brethren Volunteer Service and it was really great to participate in that event. I got back to New Windsor on Wednesday with the intention of spending some time with the current volunteer unit orientation that is going on right now. They are truly a special group and it was so much fun to spend time with them! They have a lot to offer and I can't wait to hear their stories as they go out and start at their projects. I was able to go with them to a woman's house in PA where we learned all about what nutrients weeds have to offer us and we went on a weed walk and then drank a smoothie that was made out of various weeds and seeds. It was pretty darn good!

So then this weekend was the actual celebration and it was really awesome to have 300 or more volunteers, or supporters of BVS gathered together for a weekend. It was a relatively informal time for people to gather with friends and talk and catch up with one another. I didn't have a lot to do, but one thing I did do was to be the MC at our Saturday evening Banquet which put me way outside of my comfort zone, but it went really well and I was even able to make a few jokes as part of it! It was just such a great place to be and it is so awesome to be part of this program.

Then after the program was over my roommate from college, Justine, came up to visit me! We hadn't seen each other since we graduated from Bridgewater in 2007 which is crazy! We had a great visit and we actually left campus for awhile to go and get away so that I could focus on our visit rather than on everything else that was going on!

Now I'm in the last leg of this trip and I'm currently at Elizabethtown College for a couple days before finally heading back to Elgin. I'd never been to E-Town before and this is an absolutely beautiful campus. I find it very welcoming and open and I've enjoyed my time here so far.

I am looking forward to heading back to Elgin in a couple days but I won't be there for very long because at the end of the week I'll be heading to Manchester College for a regional youth conference as well as for my college visit there. Then after that I'll be heading home to Bridgewater for about a week! Needless to say I'm just going to keep on keepin on!

I am enjoying this job. I'm still trying to figure out what it means to me and how I'm going to work to make it my own. As of right now I've been mostly doing exactly what has been done in the past but I've got some ideas that are forming in my mind so we'll just have to wait and see what comes of that!

There are many exciting things coming up in the next few months. One of my best friends, Anne, is getting married next month and I'm so excited for her! I've also have a trip to Boston coming up and I've never been there and I'll be there towards the end of October and I think it will be beautiful at that time! Just last night I talked with my aunt about going to their house for Thanksgiving, so it sounds like I'll be heading to the Twin Cities in MN for the holiday. And THEN I'm planning on going to Nigeria for the month of February on a workcamp with the Church of the Brethren to build and to create relationships with people in Nigeria as well as others on the trip. I'm hoping to learn some Hausa before I go!

Well I think that might be it for now. There is just so much going on these days and I have so many thought in my head but I wanted to catch you all up a little bit!

Peace and Blessings to you!

A Mini Vacation

Here I am in the Twin Cities in the wonderful state of Minnesota and for the past four days I've been visiting with my dad's family who live out here! My parents arrived in the Chicagoland area on Labor Day after spending almost 24 hours on the train coming out from VA. We spent some time in Elgin so that they could see where I am living and working. Both mom and dad had been to Elgin before but it had been quite awhile so it was nice for them to reconnect a bit with both the area and with various people who now live in Elgin that they knew during their time in West Africa. We took time to relax and eat lots of good food before getting on the train again to come out here.

Since we got here late Wednesday evening I've seen my grandparents and my aunts and uncles and cousins, went to a Twins baseball game, worked on my photography skills by attempting to take photos of the jewelry my aunt made, played miniature golf, visited a local conservatory and saw LOTS of plants, had a sleepover with two of my younger cousins complete with a giggle fest, went to church with my aunt and uncle, played cards, hung out with my mom and dad, and simply did the family thing.

Early tomorrow morning I'll be getting back on the train to make the eight hour train ride back to Elgin and I think I'm ready for that. It was a short visit, but I'm looking forward to getting back to my house in Elgin and I'm really excited to be there for more than a week before my next great adventure begins. Before my parents arrived I had been working really hard at making my new room my own while making it comfortable for me to live in and I think I accomplished that! Which didn't make it easy to leave it as soon as it was done!

I'm also excited to get back to my housemates and to get to spend some time with all of them since when I get home tomorrow night for the first time we will all be there together. It's a new year and many exciting things will be taking place and I'm looking forward to the new community that will form. Two housemates moved out and two moved in and we're still working to settle down and see what the year will bring. No matter what though, I think it will be great! But then again what can I say, I'm an optimist! :)

Chaos

I know I haven't written for a long time but I want you to know that I have sat down several times to catch you up on what is going on with me but the words just haven't been flowing. So here I am sitting down to give it another go and try to catch you up on the last month of my life.

I had the amazing opportunity to go out to Estes Park, Colorado for National Young Adult Conference a few weeks ago and it was such an awesome week. To go from six weeks of being in charge of others to a week of being able to relax and sit and simply be was exactly what I needed. To be in the mountains, be around 130 other Church of the Brethren Young Adults, to worship and talk and listen with others was perfect. It wasn't always easy though, through worship and conversations many questions were brought up and I spent a fair amount of time sitting on a massive wooden porch, lounging either by myself or with others all the while gazing at the Rocky Mountains. It was a great time and while I was sad to see it come to an end I was ready to get back here to Elgin and be in one place for longer than a week at a time.

So now I've been back here in Elgin for about two weeks and in that time I have finished up my work in the Youth and Young Adult Office with the workcamp program and have packed my boxes and made my move to the Brethren Volunteer Service Office. I am now officially part of the BVS team in the role of recruiter. In my first week I have started making contacts for my fall travels (and boy what a schedule it looks like it will be!) and have gone to a mid year retreat for one of the orientation units.

So after a couple weeks of transition both in the office and here at the house (I've moved to a new room) and housemates coming and going things are starting to settle down a little bit. Well, to a degree. I guess you could say that things here never really settle down! Someone is almost always gone on a trip or someone is visiting or we're invited to go somewhere. It is a chaotic life that we live here in Elgin! No worries though, I wouldn't trade it for anything!

They breed em big down here...

Well, here I am in North Fort Myers Florida and everything down here is huge! From dogs to spiders to mosquitoes...they are all enormous! It's crazy! I finished up in Baltimore on Sunday and immediately got on a plane that brought me down here to Florida. It was a rather tearful departure on my part. I have decided that I really don't like Sunday's at the moment because the past two Sunday's I've had to say goodbye to some really amazingly awesome youth, both junior and senior highs. Jerry and I have talked about the fact that it's just not fair because we get to know these youth in the span of a week and grow to love one another and then it's time to move on. Yes I do understand that typically in the CoB a goodbye is never really a goodbye but an 'I'll see you soon!' moment, but it doesn't make it any easier.

So now here I am in Florida...in August. I mean really, who's idea was this anyways? When I came down to visit last January THAT'S when the workcamp should have been, we're about six months off from the perfect time to be down here! I've already been bitten by mosquitoes about a hundred million times and it's only Tuesday! Sheesh!

Other than the bugs things are going really well. It's a small group, but I'm actually excited about that and I think they all like it too. ECHO is a simply amazing place and I hope that the group will realize all that this organization has to offer and how they are now part of the bigger picture and that they are connected.

I'll write more soon, but for now I must be off. It's time to work again!

Peace and blessings to you!

Oh, and happy August! It's pretty much one of the best months ever, but of course I'm not biased! : )

Hello Hello!

Hey, it's me again! It sure has been awhile since I checked in with you guys! Things in Chicago finished up so amazing well! I think it has been one of my most favorite workcamps so far! The youth and advisors that were there are just so amazing and I feel oh so very blessed to have gotten the chance to know each and every one of them! Just to clue you all in on the amazingness here are a few highlights from the week:

- -Hand Hugs!
- runnin' the Sharon Shuttle to showers and volleyball
- sand volleyball and sumo wrestling
- standing like a flamingo and being made fun of for it!
- playing Addiction and Palace and Rage and Apples to Apples
- lying on the floor with my legs and feet resting on the wall
- going to the DuPage County Fair
- walking taco's, one of the most amazing meal ideas EVER!
- being serenaded to while driving the Sharon Shuttle
- amazing singing
- laughing to the point that I couldn't breathe with tears rolling down my cheeks
- rockin' out to the YMCA song at the Northern Illinois Food Bank with my youth
- hammocks!
- loosing my keys or my cell phone twenty million times a day
- taking more than 400 pictures during the week
- hitting my head REALLY hard on an open back door of a car
- playing the hand game and making it to ten!! (no worries, if you're interested, Ill teach you!)
- watching my youth read and do math with the youth from the resource center
- rockin' the van at EVERY red light...total chaos!
- the Shedd Aquarium (on a Saturday = bad idea)
- having a hand washing service the last night we were together
- making 38 new totally awesome friends
- saying goodbye to everyone at least twice!

...that only gives you a glimpse of all the things we did during the week and is only a few of the many memories that I will take away from the week. I was so sad to leave that group that I cried during our circle time Saturday night and then again on Sunday once I dropped off the last group where they needed to be. It was so strange not having three dozen people around me all the time and I didn't quite know what to do with myself!

The youth that I met are so talented and caring and compassionate and on fire for life that it was such a gift for me to be around them for a week. If I could I would have kept them all! As tired as I apparently was, when I was with the group I felt like I could just keep going and going just like the Energizer bunny! Then when I was said and done I realized just how tired I really was.

On Monday I traveled to my next workcamp in Baltimore, MD which is where I am now. I got here Monday and the youth arrived Tuesday afternoon. People are always asking me how I am able to do this job and to always keep on going and going day after day, week after week and I tell them that it's not so bad. From time to time I have a low morning or afternoon where I have no energy to speak of and then I take some time to rest and rejuvenate myself. I also have realized that I get a ton of my energy from the youth that I work with each and every day.

For example, this week, I was totally out of it Monday evening and Tuesday morning, but as soon as Tuesday afternoon came around I came out of the trance-like state that I was in and started acting like my usual outgoing self. The junior highers came and voila, I was cured! I was good for the rest of the evening and then for all day Wednesday and then Thursday rolled around and I realized that I needed to take some time to catch up and rest. So after working the morning with part of the group I came back and fell asleep for the afternoon. Apparently this was a pretty amazing feat considering that the youth were apparently really REALLY loud while I was sleeping, but truth be told, I didn't hear an honest thing! I know that Leanna came in at one point and talked to me and I'm pretty sure that I fell asleep again before she was done...whoops!

My good friend Leanne is here working along side me this week and I am oh so very glad for that. She is such a natural with youth and has such an awesome energy about her that works really well for junior high aged kids. She's kept me sane and keeps me smiling as we figure out what the next step is. Honestly she did so much of the behind the scenes work for this particular workcamp that I feel confident to say that it would be okay if I wasn't even here! But I'm really glad that I am because these youth are really awesome.

I know that I've lucked out with the youth that I've had the opportunity to work with and get to know this summer and it's neat to think that one day they will be doing really amazing things with their lives and I can tell people, 'you know I remember him/her when they were at my workcamp in 2008' and that is such an awesome thing! Leanne was actually the one to point that out to me and it's so incredibly true! I feel so privledged to have these many opportunities to work with these guys and every now and then I always have to remind myself that I made a difference in their lives too. It definitely goes both ways and it's amazing.

Oy vey

I'll have to agree with Dana on this one...the best part about today was when our good friend Alex stopped by the church to surprise us. It was a much needed pick-me-up to say the least. We were in the middle of devotions when one of the advisors got up and left the room and then he came back and got Dana and I was expecting the worst when she motioned to me to come out as well, but when I left our circle there was Alex and I was totally overjoyed and so incredibly happy. We were able to chat for a little bit and catch up awhile. It was so good to simply see him and see how happy he is.

Things are going well here for us in Chicago, but it's very overwhelming at times and I'll go from being really energetic to having no energy whatsoever. Today was the first day that I looked noticeably tired to the group and I know this because they told me so. I haven't been able to do a whole lot of direct work this week with the various projects that the youth have been doing and I understand that sometimes they have to wonder what it is that I do all day and sometimes I even wonder what it is that I do all day.

It's very draining to always know what exactly is going on and trying to stay on top of things in order to keep things running. And people are always coming to me with questions and sometimes I don't know the answers and that can be frustrating but then I work to find the answers and I work to keep things running smoothly. This is one of the first weeks where I haven't felt like I've known what is going on all the time. Since there are three of us working together to keep things going I don't always know everything and we're each working on various projects. Then when people come and tell me something I get caught off guard because I never knew about it to begin with.

As of right now I am extremely tired from spending the entire day out in the sun at the county fair and that is bringing out some more of the frustrations from the day and the week. But all in all this week has simply been amazing and I am feeling extremely blessed and lucky to be here with this group. I told everyone last night that this week was awesome and that I had another workcamp which was very hard for me and in my enjoyment of this week I had totally forgotten about the frustrating week. And that is a good and a bad thing. I think it's great that I've been able to continue on and move forwards in my summer but I also don't want to forget the lessons that I learned that week.

As I'm sitting here in my line of vision is the quote "God grant be the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference." So here I sit struggling to let go of the difficulties of the week and to work to make the rest of the week an amazing experience not only for the youth and advisors I'm here to serve, but also to myself and to Dana.

Speaking of Dana, it's been so great having her here with me. She has a great gift with youth and with people of all ages really whether she knows it or not. I wouldn't want to have any other person here working with me this week!

Well since I'm about to collapse I think it's about time for me to go. It's funny, now that I've started this blog I have to keep reminding myself to keep updating it so that all ya'll can know what's going on! So I'll keep trying!

On We Go

So much has happened in these past few weeks. I had my second week in Neon, KY and boy what a week it was. I had a much smaller group of senior high and young adults and a couple of older adults thrown in. It was definitely a learning experience and one that I haven't quite figured out yet what all I have learned from it! It's going to take awhile to process, but it will come in time. It was an extremely frustrating and trying week, but oddly enough now that it's over, I don't have a whole lot to say about it. I really enjoyed the people that I worked with but there was something about the week that was just totally off. Hmmm, strange...

Anyways, after two weeks in good ol' Neon, I left for Annual Conference in Richmond, VA. I had to drive three hours west in order to come back east...now that really is strange! But that's what happened and after a long day of traveling I made it to conference and it was so fabulous to be there! I went to my first conference three years ago and now I'm totally hooked! It was great to reconnect with friends and family and take the time to reflect on the past month of workcamps and have a brief break before the next wave of workcamps begin! I had no specific jobs to do during the days and so I was able to do what I love best...talk and hang out with the youth! I hung out with youth I already knew and I met some new ones! Gotta love em!

So after some relatively free days in Richmond hanging out with friends and family I headed home to spend a few days at home in Bridgewater. For the most part I had nothing specifically planned other than a brunch with Anne and her bridal party and a family reunion but those of you who know me well know that while I try to not plan my time in it's entirety it never works. So I was running all over the place try to hang out with my best friends and others who still live in and around Bridgewater. One totally awesome thing was that I got to spend a lot of time with my good friend Lisa both at conference and at home. We hung out at the Bridgewater lawn party most evenings and ate a ton of food and did a lot of people watching and more catching up. As silly as it sounds I was pretty excited to find out that the lawn party was going on at the same time that I would be home. It's fun to go and see people, some you want to see and others that you hoped you would never see again!

Needles to say I had a good time at home and then it was time to head back out here to Illinois to regroup and prepare myself for my next workcamp. Over the years I have turned flying into a fine art. Most of the time I am able to fall asleep before the plane takes off, wake up when the beverage service comes through and then fall asleep again, waking up only when the plane lands. It's an amazing thing and this trip was no different! It sure does make the plane ride go by much faster!

It's hard to believe that half the summer is over, but I'm moving forward and things look really good for this week in Chicago, so more to come!

Last On the Hill

Well, this is the quietest it has been on the Hill here in Neon for a week but only because I'm the only one here! Everyone left this morning and it was a bitter sweet time. I was looking forward to the end of the week so that I would have some time to rest, but at the same time it's hard to say good bye to these awesome youth that I've been blessed to know. They never cease to amaze me and bring be great joy and this is why I absolutely love my job. There was one young man who was always quick to answer and who seemed a bit rough around the edges, but this morning I received the most amazing hug from him. I truly feel touched and blessed by having the opportunity to spend the week with this guy and to watch him interact with the other youth and knowing that there is so much more to him than the 'mean guy' face that he puts on. He always gave me a hard time whenever I would ask him to do something, but then he would do it and he would do it well. Amazing young man... I could go on and on about each of these youth, but that would take a long time! All I know is that it is so great to be able to look back at the lists that I've been using for the past six months and realize that I now know all of those people personally!

This week Steve and I had the group write affirmations for each other and all in all I think that went over really really well. Some people saw it as a chore but others used it as more of a reason to get to know others in the group better so that they could write more personalized comments to one another. I got a lot of affirmation and encouragement in my bag and many memories were written down. I think we can all use a bit of affirmation in our lives, it is always so encouraging and uplifting and it's what makes us tick: to know that someone cares and is paying attention and that they believe in you. I believe in all these youth and I know that each one of them has such great potential and my life has purpose because of them.

It is quiet on the Hill but everwhere I go there's a memory of some kind. There is the crazy four square court where we played using rules I haven't used since elementary school, there's the ping pong table where we played a crazy version of ping pong but it got more than two people involved, there's the gravel area where we had devotions each morning and a water balloon fight one afternoon, there's the corner couch that I think at one point at at least ten people sitting on it, there's the ball field where we played a massive game of kickball and then soccer, there's the mural that some of my group painted so we could leave our physical mark here, there's the curbs in Neon that look amazing and bright with their new coat of paint, there's the dryer that was prayed for so that laundry could be done and then we realized it wasn't plugged in (hehehe), there's the hillside that we all crawled over trying to cut down brush, and the list goes on and on. Each week this place is lived and and loved. It's a bit rusty around the edges, but it sure does become home pretty fast!

I'll say it again and again, this is such a great place to be. The people friendly and welcoming and helpful and they always tell you to come back and see em when you're next in town. I'm happy that I get to stay and work with these people for another week. It's gonna be a totally different experience, but it's gonna be a great one!

Beautiful Country

Well here I am in the beautiful state of Kentucky at my next workcamp. All I have to say (but not really) is that it is sooooo amazing to be back in the mountains! Everything here is so green and absolutely gorgeous. I've been here since Saturday and all my kids got here on Sunday. It's kinda cool because the majority of the group is from the Bridgewater area! There's also a group from Indiana and then one really cool kid from Pennsylvania. Most people round these parts have amazing accents and I could sit and listen to them talk for hours on end. We're working with HOMES, Inc (Housing Oriented Ministry Established for Service) and they work to obtain land and then build homes that people around here can afford due to the many grants they receive and through the volunteers that come in and help. It is a great program and although they are struggling financially, they are doing what they can to help the surrounding communities.

All in all it's a great group, lots of energy and willingness to serve others. It isn't always easy though, sometimes I feel as though I'm pulling teeth to get them to volunteer to do something. It's hard though because they were coming with the expectation of doing demolition work and building but so far no one has done much of that, or they have done it indirectly. So far we've been pulling nails out of boards so they can be sold and reused, cut and burned brush and debris, painted road curbs and worked to hang sheetrock (drywall) for a local community center that will (hopefully) be opened next month.

The community center that we're working at is such a great project because of what that center will mean to the community when it's done. We are in the heart of Appalachia and there are two jobs here: mining and logging. These 'towns' that we're working in are coal towns and most of the houses used to belong to the local company and everyone got their goods at the company store. So the community center that is being finished was built on the foundation from the company store that used to be in McRoberts. The area has a high drug rate even among adults and the elderly. The center will offer a place for youth to go and hang out in a safe space rather than being out in the hollows getting into trouble. They have plans for a pool table, a ping-pong table, big screen TV and lounge space and then a room for computers that will have Internet access and a crafting room. It is really exciting and I know that a lot of people are really excited for it to be up and running.

It really is such an interesting area in so many ways. And many people around here have similar stories. There are two predominate ones. First, there are the people who were born here and never leave, they choose to work the mines or do whatever work they can. Or, some people, after they go to school, realize they need to leave in order to find a job so they leave for 30 or 40 years, but then they come back. It is amazing how many people decide to come back to this area. And honestly, I can see why. As I said earlier it's beautiful country here. Yeah there's a lot of 'stuff' to deal with, but the people love it here. It's what they know. I know that I absolutely love coming here, it really is a great place to be. The people take the time to slow down and relax and enjoy life. It isn't easy, but then again what is?

Ah the Memories

So last night I was helping out with Vacation Bible School at the Highland Avenue CoB and while I was working I began to think back to when I went to VBS as a kid. My most absolute favoritest VBS was when we did the Market Place. It was so great because we could move around from stall to stall doing various projects like tying knots to make a fishing net, pouring hot wax into sand to make candles, eating food and a dozen other things! I can remember doing this several years in a row both at the Bridgewater CoB and at the Dayton CoB. It was a good time as far as I can remember!

So then right after I helped with VBS last night, I met with David and I began to think even more about growing up in the church and all the memories I have at the old Bridgewater CoB. Everytime I go into that building the memories always come flooding back. From remembering where I always sat with my grandparents in the front right of the sanctuary, usually in the third or fourth pew, playing hangman or connected the dots with my cousins. There there were the times where all the kids in the congregation would race down to the kitchen after communion was over so that we could get some of the leftovers! Many times I got my fill of grape juice and bread! And that bread, oh it's so good! It's great fun to think back to all the lock-in's and times that we played Sardines, and with the building have three levels in places, it was the perfect place to play! My favorite part of a Sunday morning service was the children's story and I can remember once when Naomi West led that time and was in the front of the church in plain clothes with a wheel barrel full of dirt and I think she planted something. One of the things that always has stayed with me were her hands and how much life those hands had experienced over the years. She was an amazing woman and it was neat to have the chance to grow up around her and hear her stories. I had my affirmation class in the old church before moving up the new church building where I was eventually baptized and that was special to. A way to connect the old with the new. Ah, so many memories and those memories are certainly a blessing to me!

I miss being in that building, I miss the times I had with my grandparents and family while I was there. I always think of my grandfather when I'm there and how much he meant to me. I'm a lucky girl and I have been extremely blessed with a family who has taken the time to care for me and raise me and encourage me along in whatever crazy thing I was interested in doing. You all have made it possible for me to be where I am today!

Not Too Shabby

Well I survived my first week out in the field and then my few days back in the office before heading off again. The workcamp in New Windsor was AMAZING. I couldn't have asked for a better group. They were energetic (then again they were junior highers), they were thoughtful and asked a lot of questions, they did a ton of work and learned a lot from what the did! Yeah, I know what I said about the girls being super girly, but they didn't turn out to be so bad after all! I dunno, they all seemed to flock to me during the week, quite strange if you ask me! And the best quote came out of this week! One of the boys was talking to an advisor and said " I just don't understand why people would come here if they didn't want to work. I mean after all this is a workcamp, not a loooooove camp!"

Like I mentioned before (I think, I honestly can't remember!), I absolutely love going back to New Windsor and reconnecting with everyone. I think that was part of the greatness of the week as well. Being in Maryland and in New Windsor has become such a huge part of who I am and I love that the group was able to experience that place and I hope they have grown to love it and appreciate it as I have over the years.

My energy level was surprisingly high all throughout the week until Friday rolled around and then it simply disappeared and was no longer. Swimming two days in a row along with having shouting matches while playing Marco Polo is apparently very exhausting! Friday night we took the group into the Inner Harbor of Baltimore and that was a really great trip and it totally tired all of us out! It is always funny to watch the energy level of groups be really high in the beginning and then slow down as the week goes on. Saturday came before any of us were ready for it, well maybe I was, but I couldn't believe that it came so fast!

After all the kiddies left I was able to spend the weekend relaxing a bit in New Windsor and I stayed with some good friends of mine and was able to sit and relax and play and swim and just 'be' for a few days. Coming back I volunteered myself to go on a later flight because it was overbooked and I got a free round trip ticket to anywhere in the continental United States! Oh the possibilities are endless! I think I'm sensing a trip to Colorado coming in my near future! Woot woot!

It has been nice to be back in Elgin for these few days. I was able to come back in time to play some Ultimate Frisbee on Tuesday which is always a highlight of my week! I really enjoy playing and I've met some really awesome people while playing! I was really sad to tell them that I wouldn't be back until August but at the same time it was really funny to tell people where I would be. It's a fun thing to say, 'well, I'll be in Kentucky for two weeks, then a week in Virginia and week back here in Illinois (but I can't come and play), then a week in Maryland and a week in Florida and THEN a week in Colorado before coming back.' Then people always wonder what the heck it is that I do! So of course I enlighten them in the wonderful ways of workcamps! : )

Whelp, I think that's it for now! I head off to Neon, Kentucky early Saturday morning! I'll be in touch!

Fashion and Hair and Makeup, Oh My!

Whelp, day one is over.

I can't believe that I'm here in New Windsor, responsible for 21 youth and advisors! I got into the area yesterday without any problems at all which was absolutely amazing and now here I am with one day under my belt. I can check it off my list of things accomplished! It is always so great to touch base with those here at the Service Center. I come back here and I really feel like I'm home! Donna and I have stayed busy making ourselves comfortable and becoming acclimated with our surrounds for the week and checking in with various people around New Windsor. I really believe that we are as prepared as we can possible be so now it's time to enjoy the week! And of course wait and see what random things come up that need to be taken care of!

We couldn't have asked for better weather for the week. The forecast is amazing. It's supposed to be mid 70's and not terribly humid and there shouldn't be too much, if any rain and that's exciting news! I've heard that the past few weeks here have been horribly humid and hot. It also beats the crazy weather that we've been having out west! I guess it's a good weather week for a lot of places! I think it's been really, really warm down south in New Orleans because I have another workcamp going on there this week as well. For the most part things are going really well down there too! There has been some problems with dehydration, but hopefully nothing too serious, but we shall wait and see.

With the group that I'm working with this week there are six boys and 12 girls in the group. It will be a challenging week for me in this sense because I am very much so a boy person. I relate better to boys. You all know me, I'm into sports and goofing off. When it comes to girls, especially girls who are really girlie, I don't do so well. This week there are a lot of girls who are into fashion and how they look and act and love to do hair and makeup and I don't know how to relate to that! Ahhh! Well I'm just going to have to figure out a way to relate and I know that I can do it but that it won't necessarily be easy.

And in all it's a great group and I'm excited to get to know them more this week and work with them and hang out with them. One thing that's hard about the New Windsor workcamp is that it is so short. I am constantly thinking about the schedule and running through what is coming up next and what I need to prepare for and before I know it I've run out of things to plan! New Windsor is a great place for youth to come who are going to a workcamp for the first time and wanting to slowly move away from being home. It's close enough to home for most of these youth and just long enough that it makes for a great time.

New Windsor itself is such a great place to be. Donna and I had a talk today over lunch (when we finally remembered to HAVE lunch) about the future of this place and honestly it doesn't look good. We brainstormed a bit about what could be done to rejuvenate this place and that's a tough question to address. What needs to happen is to make the younger generations appreciate this place and realize all the work that goes on here. Most of the groups who come here to work are older adults who know the history and the worth and the importance but I'm afraid that knowledge is going to die with the generation. If there was a way to have opportunities here that would draw the younger crowd like having a camp ground atmosphere or activities that were especially interesting to families and the younger generations that would be great. But then you get to wondering what would be interesting and appealing. And then if we did figure out something that might work, would we be willing to make the changes to find out for sure?

So then if people decide that those options are no good and we choose to sell it would it be possible to find a buyer who would be interested in purchasing the place and also preserve some aspects of the Center. And what is it that people are wanting to hold on to when it comes to the Center as a whole? Is it the memories and the history that this place holds? Or is it the actual structures? I'm sure these are some of the questions and thoughts that people have been having regarding this place for many years now.

I myself, have become emotionally attached to this place. I came here for the first time summer of 2005 through Ministry Summer Service and I fell in love with the Center. I've been coming back in various roles ever since. During that first summer I was involved with everything that went on here that I possible could. Everything from folding quilts to reading materials published by the Brethren Disaster Ministries, to working with the volunteers to leading youth groups in devotional servies and spending time with the Junior High Workcamp, to being a part of the Passing on the Gift celebration for the Seagoing Cowboys. That summer will stick with me forever. The following winter I went and served for three weeks doing Disaster Response work in Pensacola and the next summer I came back and worked in the material resources part of the Center. I have a deep love of this place and I admit that I would be sad if it was sold and we moved on to something else. But sometimes that is what needs to happen. There comes a time when you need to finish reading and re-reading the chapter you're on and move on to the next one.

Don't get me wrong, I would love to see this place rockin' and rollin' again but time will tell and the new chapter will unfold as it's supposed to. And for now, I will enjoy this place and share it's worth to these youth who have given their time and their talents this week to be here. The future will show itself when it's good and ready, and it usually starts with tomorrow!

So it Begins

Well folks, I promised to keep you updated in my travels and adventures and experiences so here's the first of it. I really can't believe that it is already the middle of June and that I leave in a day for my first workcamp!

I have grown so much these past few months and if I could, I would try to explain it all here, but it simply isn't possible. I've learned to live in a house with up to six other volunteers all sharing one vehicle. I've learned how to live in a community with the same people that I work with every day and still manage to live peacefully...well most of the time : )
I've learned how to eat on $15 a week and live on $60 a month. I've learned that it's okay to put myself out there and meet new people and create a name for myself. I've learned that the weather here is crazy and that the winters never seem to end and then when they do, you have to watch out for tornadoes. I've learned and grown to love the Highland Avenue Church of the Brethren and I have made many amazing friendships there. I've learned that as much as I love my job that it is still very trying at times, but that in the end it is all worth it. I've learned that having a spiritual director is an amazingly powerful thing and a great blessing.

As I go forth into the many adventures this summer I find myself well prepared. I have been blessed through my experiences at the Bridgewater CoB, and the Westminster CoB and now the Highland Avenue CoB. I get weekly e-mail updates from Bridgewater which bring news of joy and of sorrow and I am grateful for those because they have kept me in touch with my extended family. I go into this summer knowing that there are many people praying for me and my work. People that I know and people that I have never met before. Prayer is a very powerful thing and it isn't something that I am really comfortable doing in a formal out loud way. But I am constantly having a conversation with God and I know that is a great thing. Here in the Youth and Young Adult Office, we come together once a week to have a time of worship and the office comes together on Wednesdays for a short time of worship as well. It is a great thing. We take turns leading and everyone does it a little bit differently. We'll have hymn sings or meditative times, or Taize singing, or short messages...basically anything and everything goes.

The latest service I led for the Y/YA Office focused on grace and what grace is. Grace is a word that we hear in our everyday lives because it is such a common word, but I had never taken the time to understand what it truly means. And, truth be told, I still don't really have a firm grasp on it, but I'm learning. I asked the five of us in the office to take some time and ponder of what it is that grace means to us and to listen and reflect on an instrumental version of Amazing Grace. After doing some thinking I came to realize that grace is an invitation. It is an act of kindness as well as a way to forgive and to show one's faith. Grace is a gift that God has given us. Grace is something that I will keep exploring throughout the summer as I work with these youth and learn from them and grow with them.

I know this has been a bit random, but I have a feeling they will be for awhile. My goal is to keep you all up to date on my adventures as well as to give you a feel for what my life has been like these past nine months. I feel that I am in a great part of my life. There are so many new things to come in the future and many things that have happened in the past to reflect on.

The concept of "the journey" has been a huge part of my life since I've moved here. The first time I met with my spiritual director, David, he told me that while he didn't have all the answers he was, and is, willing to accompany me in my journey. Hearing him say that meant a great deal to me nine months ago, and still means a great deal to me today. Here is an invitation for you to join me on the journey that I am on. I will gladly join you in your journey as well all move forward in these lives that we live.