Doing Things for Me

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about who I am as an individual and what that means. As a result I've been spending a lot more time talking about 'me' than I'm used to. I've been extremely focused lately (for the past several years really) on paying attention and listening to others and asking them guiding questions and putting all my energies on them.

But lately I've been taking more time for myself. Doing things that I want to do. For me. Call it selfish if you'd like. I prefer to think of it as healthy. I haven't taken the time lately to care for myself. To do the things I find relaxing.

For the last several months, since I returned from Nigeria, I have found myself unable and uninterested in photography. Something that I have enjoyed doing these past several years I wasn't able to do. So I began to wonder and think about why that was. I believe I haven't been taking care of my own well being.

So I have been taking the time to walk through the woods. To spend time wandering and being. To stop for an hour and pick green beans because I can. To make it so that I'm home and available on Frisbee days. To travel down a quiet river with a good friend and a couple youngsters on a canoe. To appreciate sunsets on both the plains and over the mountain tops. To sit and be. To talk more openly with friends. To be.

It isn't easy. I often times find myself totally lost in what's going on with work or trying to see everybody under the sun when I'm home. It's a matter of looking for those small things in life that bring joy to our lives. Things that recenter our lives and bring us closer to the small positives things in our lives that occur every day.